If this group reaches 100,000, Brody Ruckus Can Kiss My Ass

I am inspired to post during this period of considerable crisis by a new wave of oddity sweeping Facebook. Normally I ignore these, but this one hits close to home.

Roughly a week ago, a group was created entitled "If this group reaches 100,000, my girlfriend will have a threesome." Of course, the population of the group exploded and is now somewhere over 300,000, at which point the girl in question apparently promised to take pictures. To which my immediate response was... two for you=none for me (because that's how my life works)=...um...BITE ME!!! After further reflection, I realized that there were also moral reasons to object to this group, as illustrated by the group "If this group reaches 100,000 then there is [sic] still people with morals." Of course, merely joining this group wouldn't be an adequate expression of my outrage, so I created a group of my own, "If this group reaches 100,000, women will still avoid me like the plague." And interestingly enough, 4 other people have joined in the past few days, three of whom are girls that I've never met before and don't go to this school. And of course, there are a hundred or so other knockoff groups, which will probably result in another group, "If Facebook reaches 100,000 groups that start with 'If this group reaches 100,000'... " ... Pick your ending. Maybe the internet will explode. Now, this might wind up starting a referendum on college sexuality and morality, but I'll leave that to the liberal arts majors.

Or a free weekend.

Which will happen just as soon as girls stop avoiding me like the plague.

Until then, join the group.